Should You Take Your Friend Back After They Ditch You for a Guy?
Advice on female friendships based on Hulu series “Doll Face”
Everyone has a friend who fell hard for a guy and then dropped off the face of the earth. You usually don’t see them again until they’re in a bad break up or divorce and all of a sudden, they want to be besties again. They apologize and make it clear they need you to get through this difficult time.
The question is, do you take them back?
If you’re facing this situation, or you’re the one who ignored your best female friends for a dude, the perfect show for you to watch is, “Doll Face.” A Hulu Original Series released in 2019, “Doll Face” is about a young woman, Jules, whose boyfriend breaks up with her. Post-breakup, she realizes that she has no female friends to turn to in her hour of need.
Now, to be honest, this show isn’t for everyone. It’s just plain strange. There are scenes from the main character’s imagination that are bizarre; there’s a character called the Cat Lady who isn’t a metaphorical old lady who loves cats but has a person’s body and a large cat head. There are scenes Jules is Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz and her boss is the wicked witch chasing her around the Women’s March; however, if you’re okay with some odd darkness, this show is for you. Despite its quirks, “Doll Face” explores important themes like, female friendship, self-sufficiency, and feminism that make it worth a watch on a rainy, binge-worthy kind of day.
“Doll Face” begins with Jules being dumped by her boyfriend and realizing she has no friends to turn to. She decides to show up on her old best friend’s doorstep and attempts to rekindle their friendship. Her friend, Madison, is rightfully angry but she does give Jules the courtesy of telling her exactly why she’s upset. Madison doesn’t let Jules back in right away, but it’s evident she wants to. She makes Jules work for it and after a great deal of effort on Jules’ part, Madison welcomes her back with open arms.
Did Madison make the right decision? What should you do when your friend ditches you for a guy? What I’m advocating for is — if you have a friend who has done this — you should let them back in.
Yes, they have been a shitty friend; maybe they weren’t there when a family member passed away or when you lost a job. Instead of resenting them for not being there for you when you needed them the most, give them another chance. Should your friend have abandoned you and their previous life to spend time with their guy? No, but everyone has gotten too wrapped up in love at some point in their lives, especially in the early stages, when everything is new and exciting.
If you’re debating whether you should rekindle an old friendship, you could start off doing exactly what Madison does in “Doll Face”: let your pal know that they hurt you and why. You don’t have to attack them, just be honest. Give concrete examples like, “It upsets me that it takes you days to answer my text messages.” Or, “I miss our weekly girls’ nights when we ordered take-out and drank wine.”
There is a chance they don’t even realize that they have been an awful friend. Maybe they’ve been doing this for a while and never really knew how much they’ve been hurting their fellow women along the way. Chances are, they’ll apologize, and hopefully will more be conscious about not doing it again.
The real problem arises when you have a friend whose behavior becomes a pattern. If your bestie is a “repeat offender” and continues to ditch you every time she falls into a new romance, it might be time to say goodbye.
After Madison lets Jules back in, their female bond grows strong throughout the show. They form a “girl gang” comprised of Stella, one of their mutual friends from college, and one of Jules’ coworkers, Izzy. The women support each other through various ups and downs of life. When Jules moves out of her ex-boyfriend’s apartment, the women help her set up her new place. They have dinner together; they talk about their recent sexual exploits and are there for each other all the time.
As the show progresses, “Doll Face” moves towards exploring feminism. There’s an episode that focuses on the definition of feminism when the characters attend the Women’s March. They seek out the advice of a speaker at the march and ask her questions like, “How am I supposed to call myself a feminist when I’m heartbroken over a guy?” Or, “Can I be a feminist and have beauty AND brains?” All the questions and concerns they address use the language “supposed to” in regard to what it means to be a feminist.
We’ve all been in our heads at some point, wondering if we’ve been “a bad feminist” and contemplating what it means to be a feminist. It’s important to remember that feminism just means that you believe in equal rights for all genders. You don’t have to hate men. You can be beautiful and have brains too.
Unfortunately, “Doll Face” leaves you wanting more. Their attempts at addressing feminism fall short and seem a bit shallow.
Regardless of its shortcomings in its exploration of feminism, if you’re looking for a series about female friendships or a bunch of besties who brunch, this show is for you. If you’re looking for something deeper, you should probably look elsewhere.
